As told by Jessica See.
A word that belongs to the Optimist, the person whose first name is Hope and middle name is Faith. Who, despite the odds, sees light at the end of the tunnel. Who leaves behind a trail of positive responses to their often negative circumstances.
We all strive to be good at what’s important in our lives… to be a good wife, girlfriend, mother, daughter, employer, employee, businessperson. And very often, we fall far short of what’s expected of us, in terms of our own expectations as well as others’. The demands can be great, especially when we try to reach for excellence; the burden heavy.
Nevertheless, we must get on. We must move towards what we really want for our lives.
Many of us put our hearts and souls into chasing for success as we interpret it. It can be a great job, earning a six-figure salary, driving a Porsche, or having a wardrobe full of Birkin handbags, or simply having two great kids. And yet at times, even when we have seemingly “arrived,” we look in the mirror and wonder, “Are we really happy with ourselves?” Cut away the trappings – without the accolades and possessions and social status – do we like what we see?
Much of my professional working life was as an editor and writer. When I retired from my job as an editor of a business magazine for women in 1997, I moved on to become first a professional speaker, sharing my experience to audiences as big as 6,000 in Singapore, Malaysia, Australia and New Zealand, then as a corporate trainer and finally as a coach.
People ask me why I love being a trainer and coach. Same reason why I love writing. I want to make a positive impact on the lives of others, to leave a legacy, to make a difference. I want to change the world, one person at a time.
That is precisely what excites me about coaching. I can work with an individual and see transformation right in front of my eyes. I can experience the joy of that person coming back to me 10 or 15 years later and shared how that one generative moment he or she had with me, was the turning point for him or her. That may happen occasionally with training or writing, but less likely.
The common misconception about coaching is that it is about the coach teaching the client something. That is not coaching; that is training, maybe on a one-to-one level. Coaching is never about the coach; it is entirely about the client. It is about helping the client to discover parts of themselves they may not even be aware of – their own strengths, talents, likes and dislikes, what they are willing and not willing to do, and more. And with that discovery, the coach helps to open up an endless vista of possibilities for the client. Dreams unfold, followed by an action plan driven by the person’s intrinsic motivation. That is what coaching is.
As such, a coach does not need to be an expert in the area he or she is coaching, as the real expert is the client. What we do need are the skills to uncover what’s within the client.
Many trainers who try to coach without those skills, will end up being a teacher or consultant telling the client what to do.
There may come a time where we need to wipe the slate clean. Start reflecting on what you really want for yourself in what years you have left. No matter what age you are – 61 like me, or 16 – there is no time like NOW to get really clear on where you are heading or where you want to go.
The cynic says, “You can’t change what you are. We are creatures of blind fate, and nobody, not even God, can do anything about it.” The optimist replies, “Nevertheless, I shall do my best.”
Says Carole Hyatt, a wonderful author/speaker I met many years ago, “True success can be built only upon a solid sense of self. It comes from striking a balance between who you are and what you do; establishing an inner sense of values, so that you yourself, and not others, judge your work and worth; learning to take joy in the process of what you do rather than its outcome.
“True success, then, may involve a fundamental reappraisal of self, a reshuffling of the pieces, a painful look inside.”
Difficult, painful, sometimes devastating. Nevertheless, necessary.
I made that soul-searching reappraisal in 1987 when I left my job in the banking industry (which I was miserable in) to spearhead the launch of a magazine – with no prior experience, little skill but armed with a BIG passion and belief. In 1997, again I reappraised myself, and despite the pain, I made the decision to leave my magazine. Today, I am doing what I love – helping people to BE more, DO more and HAVE more in their lives.
I call myself an Evangelist for Success, out to inspire people to make the most out of themselves, to be the best version of themselves. That is what gives me joy, that is what excites me about each new day.
I specialise in weight management, mental wellness and general life direction. If you are ready to make a change in your life now, connect with me today!
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